If you had to be rejected by someone, how would you want them to do it? Are you partial to a ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ cliché? Are you more of a ‘tell-it-to-me-straight’ kinda person? Or would you rather avoid the confrontation completely, and simply be cut off and never spoken to again?
As someone who’s experienced a vast array of rejection flavours, I have a strong opinion on which one tastes the worst. But does science back me up?
A new study, published in the Computers in Human Behaviour journal, has revealed which kind of romantic rejection — being dumped or getting ghosted — hurts the most. To investigate, researchers sought participants for a vaguely-pitched study about ‘online interactions’. They were then paired up and tasked with chatting about a designated theme with their conversation partner for 15 minutes everyday, for six consecutive days. They were then asked to fill out a daily questionnaire about their experience, as well as a longer one before and after the study.Unbeknownst to half the participants, though, their conversation partners were actually research assistants. On the fourth day of chatting, the undercover participant (the assistant) then did one of three things: ghosted their partner, told them they didn’t want to carry on talking, or, in the control group, just continued the conversation.
So, what happened? According to researchers, the participants who were ghosted and, essentially, dumped, felt more rejected and excluded than the control group (which, duh). The former participants reported that the closeness and relationship satisfaction they’d felt with their partners dropped rapidly after being ghosted or rejected, and they also experienced feelings of guilt — though the dumpees felt this more acutely than the ghostees.
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